Sharon Stone Encourages Teenage Girls to Be Sluts

Sharon Stone offered some interesting sex advice to an unfortunate teenage girl recently. According to Stone:

I was in the store the other day and I watched a young girl trying on clothes, showing her abdomen. Her mother was trying to talk to her about not being inappropriately luring. I said, 'Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under.' Her mother walked away, and I said to the girl, 'I'd like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.' Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them.

So if a guy is being aggressive, the girl should give the guy some "reward" for his effort. I get it. Be a slut, but not too much of a slut. Sounds like fine advice to me. If I ever have a teenage daughter, I'll be sure to pass on that great piece of advice to her.

(Hat tip to Lucas for e-mailing this story to me.)

Spring is Finally Upon Us...

...because Notre Dame has started spring practice. Weis shared his first thoughts of the new season here and Blue Gray Sky, as always is covering spring ball like a blanket here. While there are a number of players like Jeff Samardzija, D.J. Hord, Maurice Crum, Kyle McCarthy, Victor Abiamiri, John Sullivan, Brian Mattes, Justin Hoskins, Chris Frome and others who will see limited or no action in spring ball because of injuries or in Samardzija's case, baseball commitments, there are two things I'm interested in seeing.

One, will the defensive line show any kind of improvement? The defensive line was the achilles heel of the Irish last season and the line is going to have to be twice as good next season if they want to be national championship contenders.

Two, who will emerge as the potential significant contributors for next season? Will it be one of the freshman: George West, James Aldridge or Chris Stewart? Will be someone who showed occasional flashes last season like David Grimes? Will it be someone who's been riding on the pine for most of his Notre Dame career? Or will it be all of the above?

Let's Hope I Don't Have To Get Involved In Ridiculous Arguments Like This One During My Legal Career

From the Minnesota Star-Tribune, regarding a court hearing that took place over charges filed against two of the Minnesota Vikings players involved in the love boat scandal:

Before Culpepper took the stand, Gray said there was little evidence other than an ambiguous statement from a bartender on the boat who claimed Culpepper got a lap dance. This started a somewhat comical discussion between the attorneys and Burke about what is a lap dance in Minnesota and whether it is even illegal.

"Lap dances are done legally every night in bars in Minneapolis," Gray said. "People pay for girls to dance in front of them and there is usually no touching. There is no evidence Culpepper paid anybody for a lap dance."

Burke said he didn't believe there was case law in Minnesota that defines a lap dance. Tallen said he could amend the criminal complaint and provide a clear explanation of a lap dance, but he didn't think he needed to spell it out more graphically. The complaint said that a bartender said Culpepper touched a dancer's buttocks with his hands.

That's right, they argued over what constituted a lap dance. Next thing you know they're going argue over what "is" really means.

Snakes on a Motherfucking Airplane

In August, quite possibly the greatest movie is coming out. The name of the movie? Snakes on a Plane. The movie is about a FBI agent played by who else Samuel L. Jackson who is transporting a former mafia member who is going to testify against some of his former mafia friends and in an effort to silence him, an assassin decides instead of shooting him or blowing him up, he's going to release a bunch of poisonous snakes on the guy's flight (hence the title of movie). A trailer is here. I think I'm going to start waiting in line for the movie tomorrow.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I hope everyone has a few pints on the best drinking day of the year. While throwing back your green Guinness, you should give the guy or girl next to you one of these heartwarming cards.

Spending Like Drunken Sailors

Congress is proving yet again that they are as serious about reigning in federal spending as I am in abstaining from alcohol on St. Patrick's Day. Congress approved a budget yesterday that increased the limit on the federal government's borrowing by $781 billion yesterday. The borrowing limit has increased by more than $3 trillion since Bush took office and is nearly $9 trillion overall. The borrowing limit was raised in part because the budget passed failed to keep discretionary spending under the $873 billion requested by President Bush. I'm beginning to think more and more that the only way federal spending is going to get reigned in is if the Democrats can control either the House, Senate or White House because most Republicans have completely abandoned the idea of fiscal discipline.

Media Quick Hits

Two quick media tidbits I'd like to discuss. First, Acton Gordon, the Editor-in-chief of the Daily Illini, the student newspaper at the University of Illinois, has been officially fired for running the conversational Mohammad cartoons that sparked protests and riots by Muslims in several countries. It's good to see one of my hometown schools keeping up the recent proud college tradition of interpreting free speech to mean speech that is not offensive to anybody.

In other media news, Mike Wallace is retiring after nearly 40 years at 60 Minutes . Wallace is certainly a news legend; however, it's about time that he hung it up. I saw him speak at Notre Dame a few years ago and the man was barely aware where he was at though he was aware enough to take some verbal shots at Lowell Bergman. If you don't know who Lowell Bergman is, then you haven't seen this movie. And if you have seen this movie, you know why Mike Wallace hates Lowell Bergman's guts even if Wallace is bordering on Alzheimer's.

RIP Tony Almeida

First President Palmer, now Tony Almeida. I'm at a loss of words at the sudden passing of Tony. Let's us remember the good times with Tony. This is courtesy of AlmeidaisGod.com:

Jack and his girlfriend Audrey Raines are trapped in the offices of Felsted Security, and are surrounded by armed goons. Jack realizes that CTU has been compromised if these goons knew their location, and that he cannot call CTU for backup. He tells Audrey that he will instead call "the only person [he] can trust right now." As they hide in an empty room, Jack makes his call. About 8 minutes later, Jack and Audrey are both completely out of ammunition after a firefight against several goons and are sitting ducks for the two remaining armed goons, when out of nowhere, in the nick of time, Almeida appears and shoots both men, complete with cinematography that is a MASSIVE tribute to when Tony saved Teri by shooting the Drazen assassin in Season 1. AT LAST, ALMEIDA HAS RISEN. This is truly the most amazing, most unbelievable return of any character to this series. This surpasses even Chappelle's comeback of Season 2 or Nina's comeback of Season 3. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE and once again confirms that TONY ALMEIDA IS GOD. Jack, Audrey and Tony rush out of the building to the safety of Tony's waiting vehicle.

So long Tony. You'll be missed.

Barry Bonds Responds

Ok maybe not. Bonds is still refusing to comment on the book, Game of Shadows, but if he were to respond, his comments might go something like this.

Barry Bonds: Hall of Famer?

Barry Bonds has long been suspected of using steroids after his sudden power surge beginning in 1999 when he hit 34 homers in just 102 games and then just two seasons later hit a record breaking 73 home runs despite being 37 years old, an age when most players see a decline in their power numbers. Much of the evidence to date on Bonds' alleged long-term steroid use has come from leaked grand jury testimony where Bonds alleged that he unknowingly used a steroid cream called the "Clear" and the transformation of Bonds' body from a stick figure during his days with the Pirates to a guy looking like he's training for the World's Strongest Man competition.

Now it appears that there is some new and very damning evidence in a new book set to come out at the end of the month called: Game of Shadows: Barry Bonds, BALCO, and the Steroids Scandal that Rocked Professional Sports. The authors, Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams are two San Francisco Chronicle writers who allege that Bonds began taking a wide range of performancing drugs beginning in 1998, in part, out of jealousy of the attention given to Mark McGwire during that time. The book also alleges that Bonds is a tax cheat, an adulterer and a man who has wild mood swings (due to the steroid use) including incidents where he threatened to kill his mistress, Kimberly Bell. To support these allegations, the authors did a two-year investigation, compiling court documents, affidavits filed by BALCO investigators, confidential memoranda of federal agents, grand jury testimony, audiotapes and interviews with more than 200 sources.

On its face, it sounds like the authors have done their homework and if these allegations are true, I think Bonds' Hall of Fame chances have taken a very significant hit. I know if I had a Hall of Fame vote and I believed these allegations about his rampant steroid use were true, I would not vote for him. That being said, I need to read the whole book before I can make a fair evaluation of the author's evidence. Sports Illustrated is publishing excerpts of the book in the March 13 issue, which are accessible here. I plan on getting the book when it comes out on March 27th and I hope to have a post on the book within a few weeks.

Being a Federal Judge is a Sweet Gig

One of the perks of being a Federal Judge is that you can say or do just about anything you want including making movie references in your footnotes to mock an argument made by an attorney in a case you're presiding over.

Is This What I'm In For?

In a little less than six months, I'm going to be starting law school, and I figured I should get a little taste of what I may be experiencing, so I rented the movie, Paper Chase. A few observations:

-The law students in movie just pissed me off. All they talked about was law school related stuff. It was if they were living in a bubble where no movie, no newspaper and no television was allowed. I felt like William Shatner in that SNL skit where he tells Trekies at the Star Trek Convention to "Get a life." If my fellow students at whatever law school I decide to go to are like this, I just might kill someone.

-If this movie is at all accurate, I'm going to need to choose my study group members wisely.

-If I have any professor like Professor Kingsfield, harsh and humorless, I think I'm just going to cry.

-Thank God everything is computerized now so I don't have to bring home a library with me like the main character, Hart, to do legal research.

-If I can find myself a hot, slutty, professor's daughter like Hart, my law school experience is going to be so much better.

-Finally, if studying for exams is anything close to what it was like in the movie, it's going to be one of the most miserable experiences of my life.

Scott Stapp is an Idiot

For those of you who need a disturbing mental image, there was sex tape released recently featuring former Creed singer Scott Stapp being serviced by three strippers. Thankfully, a judge looking out for the common good of America, issued a preliminary injunction, barring the company Red Light District from showing the tape online. Despite the injunction, Mr. Stapp is none too pleased about the tape getting out, telling the AP, "Obviously someone wants to hurt me and doesn't want me to be successful in my solo career."

Yes, Scott, everything was going swimmingly until this occurred. I mean you're not the type of guy to make an ass of himself when he has a few drinks and tries to get on an airplane. Yes, you're such a humble, ego free individual, that you are absolutely beloved by the American public. I mean just look at your album cover from your most recent solo release:
I mean if this is not the picture of humbleness, I don't know what is. Obviously, someone jealous of the ten copies you've sold of "The Great Divide" is hell bent on ruining your career. Keep telling yourself that Scott. Imbecile.