Carl Monday Rules

A while back I did a post on a Ohio State fan named Mike Cooper who got caught masturbating in a public library and was then confronted about it by investigative reporter Carl Monday. Well after that segment aired, Cooper was arrested and a few weeks ago he was sentenced. And guess who was there for his sentencing? Yep, Carl Monday. And as you can imagine, hilarity ensued when Monday tried to get some comments from Cooper. Enjoy!

Chicago City Council Decides to Go Through With Their Dumb Idea

The living wage proposal targeted at big retailers like Walmart and Sears that I discussed below passed the Chicago City Council today, 35 to 14. I hope the City Council is proud to be a labor union lackey. If this ordinance remains on the books for more than two years I will be shocked.

Washington, D.C. Isn't Alone in Coming Up With Dumb Ideas

While I have ripped the DC City Council from time to time for their inane policy ideas, I have forgotten that my hometown of Chicago is also quite apt at coming up with dumbass proposals, as the Chicago City Council is proposing a "living wage" proposal that would only apply to large corporate stores like Walmart, Target, Home Depot, etc. The Chicago Tribune explains:

If enacted, the measure would require stores with at least 90,000 square feet and $1 billion in annual sales company-wide to pay workers a minimum of $9.25 an hour plus $1.50 an hour in benefits.

This proposal is completely stupid for two reasons. One, it's likely unconstitutionally, seeing as a federal court recently struck down a somewhat similar law in Maryland which required companies with more than 10,000 employees (the only company to fall into this category in Maryland was Walmart) to spend at least 8 percent of their payroll on health benefits or pay the same amount into a state low-income health insurance fund. Two, if this law is passed, it will drive away companies like Target, Walmart and Home Depot from building new stores in Chicago, as they will find much cheaper labor costs in the suburbs. In fact, both Target and Walmart have threatened to hold off building new stores in Chicago if this new law passes. Thus, this law would deprive many of the poor Chicago neighborhoods of potential economic development and new job opportunities that these stores would bring. Not to mention, that fewer Walmarts and Targets being built means less tax revenue for the city. But hey the City Council is really looking out for the poor people with this proposal.

A Little Discretion Ozzie

For the second time this season, Ozzie Guillen threw a hissy fit after a White Sox pitcher failed to retaliate after a White Sox player was hit by Texas pitcher Vincente Padilla. Guillen said the following after the game, "[Jon Garland] just missed it, and I expect next time to do a better job." While I have no problem with a White Sox pitcher retaliating after a White Sox player gets hit, Ozzie has to show some discretion. Yell at Garland in the clubhouse behind closed doors. Don't chew him out in the dugout and then tell the media that you're pissed off that your pitcher didn't retaliate because that only leads to fines and suspensions. And frankly, as lousy as the Sox are playing right now, they cannot afford to have Guillen missing games to suspensions.

International Freeloaders

While it's easy to point fingers at the US and namely President Bush (cough Howard Dean) for current intentional woes such as the Israeli-Hezbollah spat, Iran's continued aggression and North Korea test firing missiles, the Washington Post's Sebastian Mallaby reminds us that some of the other world powers need to be held accountable as well:

So the challenge in the Middle East and beyond is to show that diplomacy can function. In the wake of the Bombay attacks, Pakistan is a good place to start: China, a traditional Pakistani ally, should join with the United States in telling Pakistan to close down its jihad network. Until now, of course, China has regarded India-Pakistan tensions as a strategic plus. But it needs to update its worldview. Trade and investment between China and India are growing, and China depends on imported oil. War in India, or the emboldening of Pakistani jihadists with links to the Middle East, is not in its interest.

But Pakistan is only a beginning. On every major security challenge, from North Korea's missiles to Iran's uranium enrichment, diplomacy is undermined by Chinese, Russian and sometimes Western European foot-dragging. These powers are happy to criticize unilateralism and belligerence at every turn. But when there's a chance to make diplomacy work, they call for U.S. leadership and hide behind the curtains.

There's a direct causal link between this freeloading irresponsibility and Israel's bombardment of Lebanon. The Chinese and Russians ensure every day that diplomacy is limp, and then they sound surprised when Israel chooses the military option.

Western Europeans lament the fact that the Bush administration, its energies sapped by the Iraq war, has not shown much appetite for the shuttle diplomacy that brokered the last Israel-Hezbollah cease-fire in 1996. But if France and others had not undermined sanctions on Iraq in the late 1990s, the case for the military alternative would have been weaker -- and the war might not have happened.

I don't think it's an earth shattering statement to say that in dealing with problems like North Korea or Iran, multi-lateralism is more likely to work than unilateralism, and that multi-lateralism is the preferred method over unilateralism, but multi-lateralism only works when you have willing partners and U.S. has not had that.

Wasn't Rocky V Enough?

The trailer for the new Rocky movie is up and I have to say that if the preview is any indication, Rocky VI could make Rocky V look like an Oscar-award winning picture.

The Lottery Gods Are Not Smiling Down on Me

The Notre Dame football ticket lottery results are in and apparently I did something to piss off the lottery gods this year as I was shutout in my attempts to score Michigan and/or Penn State tickets and then my dad was shutout for tickets to the Michigan, Penn State, Purdue, Stanford and UCLA games. F---! I guess I'll have to whore myself out this year to get me some tickets.

I'm Totally Speechless

You know I thought the unintentional comedy of David Hasselhoff's video, "Hooked on Feeling" could never be matched. I mean what awesome music video does not have the singer dressed in safari gear and jumping up and down in front of a video screen of African tribesmen jumping up and down. But then David Hasselhoff had to come out with a new music video, this one called, "Jump in My Car". I'll let the video speak for itself.



Major props to Lucas for e-mailing this gem to me.

Never a Smart Idea

While it is possible to eat and drive and talk on your cell phone and drive, I doubt the following activities are possible while driving:

While the Timberwolves were introducing their 2006 draft picks at Target Center on Thursday, current center Eddie Griffin was served with a civil suit accusing him of crashing his SUV into a parked car because he was drunk and watching a pornographic DVD...

....The complaint, filed in St. Paul District Court, alleges the crash occurred because he was "under the influence of alcohol" and masturbating while watching pornography on a TV set in his dashboard.

My immediate reaction to this is what the hell was Eddie Griffin thinking? I mean it's bad enough that he was driving after he had a few drinks, but also masturbating. Jeez. I think the only way he would have been more distracted was if he was trying to work a bunch of cooking appliances in his car like Homer Simpson did in one Simpsons episode. Not to mention, can't something like that wait? I mean Eddie Griffin couldn't have been more than 15-20 minutes away from his house. Couldn't he have waited until he got home before he took care of umm... his needs?

Good to Be Back

After 3 and half weeks in Los Angeles, I'm finally back in DC, and I have to say that it feels good to be back in DC. I have to say for all the wackiness that DC offers (see here, here and here), DC ain't got nothing on Los Angeles. In the just three short weeks I was there, there was a story of a man who dug a 60 foot hole in his yard because he thought he found gold, people hiding in trees or handcuffing themselves to concrete barriers to prevent law enforcement officials from evicting them from land they never paid rent on, pelicans under the influence of drugs flying into motor vehicles and I'm not even mentioning the regular wackiness that all the celebs in LA have to offer. So the next time I bitch about the wackiness of people in DC, just remind me about LA and then I will quickly realize that things could be worse.