The Return of Family Guy

Family Guy makes its glorious return tomorrow night at 9 PM ET on Fox and I could not be happier. It is brilliantly written and you can watch the same episode over and over and it remains hilarious. Fox is planning to run at least 35 new episodes along with releasing an 80 minute DVD movie and a book called Stewie's Guide to World Domination. Sweet.

Are You a Real American?

Watching this video made me want to go out and kick some Commie butt.

A Sign You Have Too Much Money

A metallic gray 1999 Volkswagen Golf once registered to Pope Benedict XVI is up for sale on Ebay. The bidding began at 9,900 euros ($12,790) and after 300 bids, the price is at one million euros ($1.3 million). The bidding has gotten this high even though Pope Benedict XVI was not known to drive. I'd like to know who made this 1 million euros bid because I have some student loans and car payments he could take care of.

The Hypocrisy of the NCAA

Yesterday the NCAA board of directors approved a proposal that would add a 12th game to Division I-A schedules beginning in 2006. This means that some teams could play up to 14 games in a season if they play in the conference championship and a bowl game. So let me get this straight. The NCAA is against a college playoff system because the players would play too many games and miss too many classes, yet the NCAA is willing to allow teams to play an extra regular season game with the potential to play a schedule nearly as long as a NFL regular season schedule. How does this make any sense? Myles Brand can talk all he wants about putting the student back into student-athlete, but with moves like this it shows that the only thing he and his NCAA cronies care about is lining the pockets of the university coffers.

Positive Developments in Lebanon

In Lebanon this week, the final Syrian troops pulled out of Lebanon. I have been pleasantly surprised at Syria keeping its word to pull out all of its troops. I thought it was going to take the implementation of sanctions for Syria to uphold its promise. While this is a great development for the pro-democracy forces in Lebanon, there is still much work that needs to be done if Lebanon hopes to stay on the path towards democracy. Hezbollah needs to be disarmed. This will be difficult to accomplish, especially when Hezbollah is making the ridiculous assertion that UN Resolution 1559 does not apply to them because they are resistance movement and not a militia. In addition, the various factions must find a way to work together. A new government must still be formed in order for elections to take place in May. While there are significant challenges ahead for Lebanese people, they have already overcome the most difficult challenge, which is the day-to-day meddling of the Syria.

Sick

Entertainment Tonight has won the rights to televise the wedding of Vili Fualaau and Mary Kay Letourneau, who, oh by the way, began having "relations" with Fualaau when he was in 6th grade. I thought TV had hit a low with the reality show Who's Your Daddy, but apparently Entertainment Tonight has found a way to sink even lower. Excuse while I go to the bathroom to throw up.

Words of Wisdom from Mr. T

What do you get when you mix 80's music, a message about treating your mother right and Mr. T singing? Pure. Comedic. Gold.

The Roar is Back

For the first time since a certain someone wearing #23, the Bulls were styling tonight in black sneakers, which meant only one thing, the Bulls were back in the playoffs. It felt so good to hear the United Center absolutely rocking. I've been waiting seven years for the UC to be as loud as it was tonight. The Bulls did not disappoint, as they won 103-94, paced by an incredible effort by Andres Nocioni, who had 25 points and 18 boards. The Bulls are up 1-0 and should win the series 4-1.

Sudan Round-Up

After an embarrassing softball game a few days ago, I went to a local bar with many of my teammates. I got engaged in conversation with one of my teammates about Sudan. It made me realize how little I know about what's going on there and how little the media coverage has been on the situation there. Thus, I felt inspired to compile this round-up of recent stories about the situation in Sudan.

Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick visited Sudan a little over a week ago, pressing the Sudanese government to take specific steps that would demonstrate it is cooperating to stop the violence in the Darfur region, including possibly allowing NATO or the U.S. military to assist in a rapid expansion of an African-led monitoring force. Zoellick threatened that the $2 billion promised in U.S. aid to implement the North-South peace accord could be taken away if the Sudanese government does not address the problems in Darfur. This meeting in Sudan came days after $4.5 billion was pledged in Oslos by the international community to help implement the peace accord. Let's hope this is more than just more hot air from the U.S.

Meanwhile, the Sudanese government continues to deny that it is in any way assisting the Janjaweed fighters, who are blamed for raping and killing non-Arab civilians. The Sudanese government made this denial despite the continued harassment by the Janjaweed fighters of non-Arab civilians in the region. The Sudanese government is also refusing to comply with the UN resolution to hand over any war criminals to the International Criminal Court, citing the strength of the Sudanese judiciary system (excuse me while I let out a light chuckle).

While the Sudanese government refuses to cooperate with the UN in handing over war criminals to the International Criminal Court, the Sudanese government did agree to adopt the UN Human Rights resolution which unanimously condemned "continued, widespread and systematic violations of human rights" in the Darfur region . This resolution by the way has about as much value as the paper it's written on.

Finally, the first UN peacekeeping forces arrived in Sudan earlier in the week to enforce the peace agreement signed in Sudan. The peacekeeping force is expected to get additional assistance from Germany who pledged this past week to send 75 troops to southern and eastern Sudan. While this is a nice first step taken by the UN, a heck of a lot more is going to need to be done by them to stem humanitarian crisis in the country.

Things Are Looking Up

Today was the Blue-Gold game, and if I feel compelled enough I might offer some thoughts on the game later. While today's game is for the most part inconsequential, recruiting for next year's class is not. According to Mike Frank of Irish Eyes, Weis is off to a fabulous start. Here's the power quote:

I've been heavily involved in following Notre Dame's recruiting effort. For the past 10 years, I've personally followed the recruiting process and have witnessed some great classes signed by the Irish, and some not so great classes signed by the Irish. However, I've never seen a class get off to as quick, and as an impressive start as first-year head coach Charlie Weis's first full recruiting campaign.

Read the whole article. It will definitely pump you up about the future of this program. September 3rd cannot come soon enough.

White Sox Tidbits

The White Sox are off to their best start since 1935 and with a win tonight, they would be off to their best start ever. Yet the White Sox have not made many believers out of the "experts" on ESPN, namely Jeff Brantley, who said this morning on Sportscenter, "I don't care how hot of a start the Sox get off to, they will not make the playoffs." You have to wonder if these guys on TV think before they speak. Let's say the Sox continue this hot play and are 52-29 after 81 games. You're telling me that they have no shot at making the playoffs. The Sox would then only have to go 43-38 in the second half to win 95 games which would be more than enough to make the playoffs. I know the all the analysts at ESPN are drinking the Twins Kool-Aid, including some like Peter Gammons picking them to win it all, but if the Sox continue to get the great starting pitching they're getting right now (2.89 ERA), no one including the vaunted Twins will touch the Sox. Not to mention, that many of the ifs that I discussed in my White Sox preview are going the White Sox's way. Scott Podsednik is hitting close to .300 and has 9 SB in 12 games. Tadahito Iguchi is hitting over .300 and has been steady at second base. Jose Contreras has been fairly consistent so far. In fact, about the only thing that is not going the Sox's way is the struggles of their closer Shingo Takatsu, but with their bullpen depth of Marte, Vizcaino and Hermanson, the Sox can weather it. The season is still young, but the Sox have looked outstanding so far.

On to a humorous Sox story. Ex-White Sox player, Magglio Ordonez, said the following about Ozzie Guillen, "I don't consider him my friend. I have nothing to say. I don't want to see him or talk to him. He's my enemy. If he comes to me and wants to apologize, I wouldn't accept it." Well, Ozzie being a guy who won't take crap from anyone said the following in response:

He's a piece of [bleep]. He's a [bleep], that's what he is. He's another Venezuelan [bleep]. [Bleep] him. He has an enemy. Now he has a big one. He knows I can[bleep] him a lot of different ways. He better shut the [bleep] up and play for the Detroit Tigers.

And this is why I love Ozzie. He refuses to put up with any bs, which leads to comedic gold like this. However, not everyone is laughing about this; namely, local columnist Jay Mariotti, who says, "If someone in charge doesn't muzzle Ozzie Guillen with duct tape, inject him with a horse tranquilizer or simply order him to shut the [bleep] up -- his favorite expression, not mine -- the man is going to talk himself out of a job and shame the city and ballclub he represents. " Oh lighten up Jay. This is a Major League clubhouse, not a church. As long as the Sox keep winning who cares what nutty things come out of Ozzie's mouth. I say, keep it coming Ozzie.

People are Crazy

People in Chicago have come in droves to a stain at an expressway underpass that they believe resembles the Virgin Mary. Here's a picture of the stain:

Frankly, I don't see it. Then again this a country where people will play $10,000 on Ebay to buy a grilled cheese sandwich that resembles the Virgin Mary.

The New Pope

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany became the new Pope today and will take the name of Benedict XVI. While at first glance Pope Benedict XVI appears to be too conservative for my taste, I will take a wait and see approach before having a concrete opinion on him. Back in 1958, the Catholic Church selected a conservative, Pope John XXIII, who was seen as nothing more than a transitional figure. But during his tenure, he called the Second Vatican Council, which brought important changes to the Church such as allowing Mass to be done in languages outside of Latin. Thus, it would premature to call this selection as an endorsement of the status-quo.

Never Underestimate the Stupidity of Others

Back in the day I used to work at Best Buy. I know from experience that Best Buy does not have the best and the brightest working their stores, but little did I know that at some Best Buy stores they employ the brain dead. A Baltimore County man, Mike Bolesta, was told that the installation of his son's CD player for his car would be free after the CD player they bought in the store did not fit in the car. Bolesta, however, was called the next day by Best Buy that if he did not pay the $114 installation fee, they would call the police. Bolesta, in protest, went to the store and paid the $114 fee with 57 $2 bills. The cashier refused to accept the bills, believing that the currency was fake. After much haggling, the cashier took the bills. Unfortunately for Bolesta, he was not home free, as the police arrived to arrest him before he left the store. The police contacted the Secret Service, who, unlike this Best Buy employee had a few neurons firing and confirmed the authenticity of the $2 bills. Bolesta was released after spending 3 hours in jail. If I were him, I would pursuing some form of legal action.

Who is Ron Mexico?

Apparently Michael Vick. According to a civil suit filed in March, Vick allegedly used the pseudonym during his relationship with a 26-year-old Georgia woman who filed the suit. The woman also alleges that Vick gave her herpes (the gift that keeps on giving). While the suit is obviously a downer for Vick, it's been a boon for NFLshop.com, who received numerous orders for personalized #7 Falcon jerseys with the name MEXICO on the back. Unfortunately, in an uncapitalistic move by the NFL, NFLshop.com has added MEXICO to its list of banned personalized names. Oh well. I guess I'll have to go to Ebay to get my MEXICO Falcons jersey.

Boy I Hate to be This Kid

For those of you living under a rock, Britney Spears announced on Tuesday that she is pregnant. I think there's a 95% chance that this kid will have more baggage than a Shawn Kemp family vacation.

Worst Mother Ever!

A woman in Florida forced her 12-year-old daughter into prostitution, who is now 3 months pregnant and then traded her 14-year-old daughter for a Mercury Cougar, which the woman never received. Let's hope this woman spends a long time in the slammer.

I'm Back

After a way too long hiatus, I have my laptop back from the repair shop. Unfortunately, just as I get my laptop back, I'm going to be out of town for a few days. Regular blogging will return on Sunday or Monday. But before I head out of town, I have some pent up posts I need to get out. Enjoy!

Opening Day

Tomorrow is the season opener for my beloved Chicago White Sox. The Sox last year yet again finished second to the Minnesota Twins. With three consecutive second place finishes, General Manager Kenny Williams completely retooled the offense, trading Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik and Luis Vizcaino, letting go Magglio Ordonez and signing A.J. Pierzynski, Tadahito Iguchi and Jermaine Dye. Williams shifted the offense from a streaky power hitting team that could score 20 runs one night and 2 runs the next night to a more consistent, but less explosive, speed and contact oriented team. Williams also added depth to the starting pitching staff by signing Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez. This was probably the Sox's most important signing because it allows Jon Garland to move down to the 5th starter spot, which will be a significant upgrade over the combination of Neal Cotts, Felix Diaz, Jon Rausch, Jason Grilli, Danny Wright, Arie Munoz and Josh Stewart who all at one point served as the Sox's 5th starter last year.

So how good will the Sox be this year? The Sox are relying on a lot of ifs. El Duque, Carl Everett and Dye have had injury problems in recent years. It also remains to be seen whether Sox's closer Shingo Takatsu will continue to fool hitters with his 55 mph change-up. In addition, Jose Contreras continues to frustrate Sox coaches with his inconsistent starts despite having some of best stuff in the AL. If Contreras gets off to a slow start, he could find himself replaced in the rotation by 21 year-old phenom and Jack McDowell clone, Brendan McCarthy, who gave up only 1 earned run in his first four spring training starts.

In addition to injury and pitching questions, the Sox have question marks at the top of their lineup with Scott Podsednik, Tadahito Iguchi and Frank Thomas. Podsednik stole 70 bases last year but his average dropped from .314 to .244. Iguchi was a star in Japan for the past several seasons, but he's far from a sure thing as Kazuo Matsui of the Mets can attest to. Frank Thomas will begin the season on the DL, and if he is slow to recover from his off-season foot surgery, the Sox's offense could struggle to consistently drive in runs. If all the ifs fall the Sox's way, they win the division by 5 games and play in the ALCS. If not the Sox could easily finish 4th in a competitive AL Central.

Busted

I find it funny that the first guy to get suspended under Major League Baseball's new steroid policy is a guy who has hit four career home runs.

A Look Ahead

With the passing of Pope John Paul II, the question becomes who will be his successor. Slate, Chicago Tribune and New York Times all speculate on who are the leading contenders. The Washington Post examines the challenges the next Pope faces. While there are a lot of unanswered questions at this time, two things are a near certainty. One, the Pope will not be an American due the baggage of the sex abuse scandal and that America is a superpower. Two, the new Pope will not attempt to impose sweeping reforms on the Church such as allowing woman to be priests or revising the Church's stance on artificial birth control since most of the voter-eligible cardinals are fairly conservative.

This is Disturbing

Scott Peterson has already received marriage proposals since his stint began on death row, and apparently, Peterson is not the only one on death row with female fans. Let this be a note ladies; if you're proposing marriage to a man who you have never met and is on death row, that is a sign you need to seek psychological counseling.