Starting to Think About Law School

Since I'm planning on going to law school next fall, I'm trying to figure out where I should apply and what should I write for my personal statement. In the midst of trying to figure all this out, I came across this old Yale Law Journal article called, "How Not to Succeed in Law School" by James D. Gordon. And for an aspiring law student like myself, I could not stop laughing and feeling a little depressed at the same time. Here's one of my favorite passages:

During your first year, you take a class called "Legal Writing." The sole objective of this class is to make you write like real lawyers as little as possible. Virtually all lawyers write as if they were paid by the word. Some write as if they were born in a parallel universe. For example, here is the legal translation that has been offered for the simple, everyday phrase, "I give you this orange."

Know all men by these presents that I hereby give, grant, bargain, sell, release, convey, transfer, and quit claim all my right, title, interest, benefit, and use whatever in, of, and concerning this chattel, otherwise known as an orange, or citrus orantium, together with all the appurtenances thereto of skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, and juice, to have and to hold the said orange together with its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, and juice for his own use and behoof, to himself and his heirs in fee simple forever, free from all liens, encumbrances, easements, limitations, restraints, or conditions whatsoever, any and all prior deeds, transfers or other documents whatsoever, now or anywhere made to the contrary notwithstanding, with full power to bite, cut, suck, or otherwise eat the said orange or to give away the same, with or without its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, or juice.

I'm betting once I'm in law school I'll find this article even more funny and even more depressing.