Are you Kidding?

So I was watching NBC News today, minding my own business when Brian Williams said the following, "The next story may have viewers wondering why we are spending airtime on this, but people across America are mourning the death of a thoroughbred horse." That horse, of course (I sound like Mr. Ed) is Barbaro, who was euthanized today. So people are mourning the death of a horse? WTF? Apparently, there are quite few who are actually mourning his death, and to all those who are mourning the death of Barbaro, I have the following to say to cheer you up: He should make many fine bottles of glue. But I kid. I kid. Barbaro, I hope you're enjoying the big salt lick in the sky.

Scientologists Are Absolutely Nuts

I know the title of this post is not telling you something you didn't already know, but this time they really have gone too far. Are you ready for this? Tom Cruise is seen as the Jesus Christ figure of the Church of Scientology. I s--t you not. Check out these comments in The Sun today:

The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen” to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.

And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.

A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

So Tom Cruise is like Christ and there's going to be a reality show where the winner loses his virginity, either I'm drunk or the world is going to hell today.

Hat tip: Best Week Ever

I Think We've Reached the Final Frontier of Reality Shows

We've seen people stranded on desert islands. We've seen people eat pig anuses. We've seen one woman marry a millionaire whom she's never met. It seemed like it was impossible for reality television to be taken any further until I saw this on TMZ:

[S]ources tell TMZ that famed on-camera sexhibitionists [Paris] Hilton and [Jenna] Jameson have been contacted about "participating" in a reality show currently in production called "Virgin Territory," in which a group of the uninitiated will find their way to the promised land. Ironically, it's being brought to TV by the purveyor of Paris' sex tape, Kevin Blatt, who predicts that even more people will watch "Territory" than "One Night in Paris," Hilton's infamous night-visioned romp.

When I saw this, I nearly spit out my Hamburger Helper. Losing your virginity on reality television? You have to be joking right? Well, apparently the show already has a website, and if it's a joke, it's a pretty damn elaborate one. The website, by the way, is absolute hilarious, check out this paragraph from its main page:

Ten men are verified as virgins before being locked in a house in the San Fernando Valley, where they must abstain from any sexual contact, even with themselves. Their every move is monitored and recorded to ensure that they remain “Masters of their Domain.” A celebrity host presides over the Virgins as they are tested in their knowledge, desire and ability to lose their virginity.

Wait, wait, what? Medically certified virgins? How do you certify that a guy is a virgin? Who knows, but this definitely sounds like a reality show for the Fox network.

The Big Game

With the Super Bowl match-up set between my beloved Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts, it's important to know a little bit more about this game and what better place to learn more about this game than from the fine people at Kissing Suzy Kolber who explain why the future of the world is at stake in this game. And then check out their exclusive posts from Rex Grossman throughout the season here, here, here. You'll definitely look at Grossman in a whole new light.

I Got This Playing on a Loop

Bring on the Colts!!!!

Notre Dame Football News Round-Up

Lots of Notre Dame news today. The first being that Darius Walker announced that he will forgo his senior season and enter the NFL draft. I have to say that this is a smart move for Walker. While he is likely to be a late 3rd round or early 4th round pick at best, he was not going to improve his stock much next year and in fact, would more likely hurt his NFL stock, as Notre Dame looks to be loaded at running back next year and there's always a risk of a Senior year injury. The biggest knock against Walker is his lack of speed and spending another year at Notre Dame is not going to help that. Walker should be a solid third down back for some NFL team.

The second big news item of the day is that nine Notre Dame players were granted fifth years. They are: Tom Zbikowski, Travis Thomas, John Carlson, John Sullivan, Trevor Laws, Dwight Stephenson, Joe Brockington, Ambrose Wooden and Geoff Price. To get Carlson, Sullivan and Laws back are huge. Carlson should be a great safety blanket for the new Notre Dame quarterback, and Sullivan and Laws provide much needed depth and experience to the offensive line and defensive line respectively. It's also good to have Geoff Price back who did a great job punting this year.

The third big new item of the day is that Notre Dame has their 17th verbal commitment of their recruiting class and it's a shocker: Chris Little, the stud offensive tackle from Georgia. It's a shocker because just a few days ago at the Army All-American game, Little announced that he would be attending Florida State, but with a change in the offensive coaching staff, Little had a change of heart and has committed to the Irish. If Little does in fact sign with the Irish (and at this point, I won't believe he has signed with Notre Dame until I see his signature since he seems to change his mind constantly), Notre Dame's two year run at recruiting offensive linemen might be the most impressive crop of offensive linemen in recent memory at Notre Dame. In the past two years, Notre Dame has recruited ten offensive linemen. That should open lots of running room for James Aldridge and company and keep Jimmy Clausen in one piece.

Notre Dame Coaching Comings and Goings?

Blue Gray Sky has got some good stuff about some potential coaching changes on Charlie Weis's staff.

The Funniest Thing You'll See All Day

So I thought my Scott Weiland story below could not be topped in hilarity, but then I saw this little gem, discussing who 7'6" Yao Ming is dating. All I have to say is go Yao, it's your birthday, it's your birthday.

If This Doesn't Convince Charlie Weis to Stay, I Don't Know What Will

I have to say that I'm getting a good chuckle out of all these idiotic New York columnists who think Charlie Weis is going to leave Notre Dame to coach the New York Giants. Let's see he has a buyout of about $25 million. He's coaching at his alma mater, which oh by the way, is the most prestigious job in all of college football. And he's at place that his family loves. While most rational thinking Notre Dame fans share in my laughter about this Weis to Giants talk, one Notre Dame fan is quite worried Weis might leave. His name is Scott Weiland. Yes, that Scott Weiland, the former lead singer of the Stone Temple Pilots and current leader singer of Velvet Revolver and role model for America's youth in saying no to drugs. Here's what Scott had to say:

Okay Charlie, at this point I am going to assume that you haven't spoken to the Giants' organization about their 'potential coaching job.' But LEAVING NOTRE DAME, your alma mater, without having achieved really anything of monolithic proportions like you've promised us, is absurd and unfair. So at this point, I will get on my knees and beg. Don't do it, coach. Don't do it! Stay and do what you promised; your team, your school, the fans, the legacy deserves to be taken to the promised land. Your recruits, Charlie, who are just beginning to trickle in, came to play for you. You! Not someone else and they are coming to South Bend to those brutal winters from places all over the country — from the South to Southern Cal, just to be led to the promised land. Jimmy Clausen, the most highly recruited player in high school football, committed to Notre Dame. When asked why in a recent interview, he said to play for coach Weis and get a new environment. Why? The promised land, the crown jewel, the national championship. But we can't start talking about Notre Dame in the same breath as a national championship yet. You've gotta win one. The team's gotta go out there and get one. We, the Irish nation, fight for it with you together and we will all win one together and walk away to the promised land together.

Yours truly, Scott Weiland, rock n' roll singer, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS, VELVET REVOLVER, legacy and Notre Dame football fan.

To steal some of the thunder from Deadspin, kids say no to drugs.

Hat tip: Deadspin

I Don't Know About This

This article was on the first page today of the Chicago Sun-Times Commentary section, and I have to say that I do not know a straight male who is like this, but maybe I'm totally dense or maybe I hang out with the wrong crowd.

Nick Saban is a Loser, a Quitter and Most of All, a Liar

Saban takes the Alabama head coaching job.

Well that sucked

Another year, another embarrassing bowl game loss. While I think LSU had superior talent to Notre Dame, there is plenty of blame to go around. Let's first start with the obvious, Rick Minter. If Charlie Weis has any sense, he tells Minter on the flight home that he can start packing up his office. Let's see, Notre Dame couldn't rush the passer. They couldn't tackle anyone. They also left about 20 yard cushions for the LSU receivers. Other than that, a bang up job by the Notre Dame defense. They were totally outschemed by LSU's offensive cordinator, Jimbo Fisher, and a majority of that blame falls on Minter. While Minter gets a F- for his performance tonight, some of the blame for this pitiful defensive effort falls on Weis as well. He certainly has some say in defensive gameplanning, and I'm still trying to figure out what Notre Dame's defensive game plan was.

In keeping with the coaching blamegame, Weis also deserves a lot of the blame for the offensive woes. I just did not understand the need for Weis to be as pass wacky in his play calling. Unlike many other games this season, Notre Dame had quite of bit of success running the football, yet Darius Walker had only 22 carries and James Aldridge had 3, 2 of which came at garbage time in the 4th quarter. With the explosive LSU offensive, this was the type of game that you should have gone to a game plan similar to the USC game last year where you run ball 2 out of 3 times and control the clock, yet Weis showed no patience with the running game. In addition, I find it concerning that this is the second straight bowl game that Weis was completely outcoached.

While I'm busy bashing Weis, I do want to give credit to Walker, who was one of the few Notre Dame players that actually showed up to play. I saw a burst from Walker that I have not seen before and I saw him actually outrunning defenders which I usually only see when Notre Dame is playing Stanford or the service academies.

Unfortunately, Walker was one of the few positives for the Irish. I think the biggest disappointment from the game was the play of Brady Quinn who was 15 for 35 for 148 yards, 2 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. I would have excused some of the play of Brady Quinn if he got no help from the running game, but he actually got quite a bit of help from the running game yet he consistently missed open receivers or made poor decisions. My next comment is probably going to upset some of the Notre Dame partisans that read this blog, but there is no way that Brady Quinn is a number one pick. I love his leadership. I love his toughness and his arm, but his accuracy leaves a lot to be desired. If I had the number one pick right now, I would much rather have JaMarcus Russell than Brady Quinn. Not only does Russell have the arm and the toughness of Quinn, but unlike Quinn, he is much more accurate with his passes and actually hits his receivers in stride.

So with another disappointing bowl game for the Irish, what's next? It will be interesting to see what kind of coaching turnover there will be in the next few weeks. I would be shocked if Minter is not gone within a week. There is going to be a very interesting 4-way quarterback battle between uber-freshman Jimmy Clausen, Demitrus Jones, Zach Frazer and Evan Sharpley, and I think that quarterback play will be the least of Charles Weis's concerns next year. But I think the most interesting thing to watch for next season is to see if the team plays with more enthusiasm with a mostly green starting lineup (thanks Ty!). I think that's what bothered me most about the team this season, it seemed like they were always so uptight and lacked the enthusiasm of last year's team. Let's hope that changes next season.