Memo to Self

If you're trying to get your town to built you a new football stadium you may not want your players doing this:

Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated in connection with a lake cruise that turned into a wild sex party last week on Lake Minnetonka. The party became so out of control that crew members on the two yachts were offered money for sex and feared for their safety, law enforcement authorities and an attorney for the cruise company said Tuesday....

....Almost immediately after boarding, crew members noticed partially disrobed women walking around, he said. One employee opened a galley and three nude women popped out, he said.

Then the crew -- about five people on each boat -- saw women giving lap dances for money.

"Players were approaching the wait staff telling them they would be tipped if they danced," Doyle said.

The players started to become more aggressive, wanting to pour their own drinks and screaming at the bartenders, he said. Naked woman walked around without hesitation. They performed oral sex in the open, he said. Sex toys were strewn about, he said.

At some point, the yacht captains called each other to see whether similar activity was happening on both vessels. It was, Doyle said, recalling what he called eye-popping conversations he had with crew members.

"They [the captains] had to step around people who were having sex on the floor," he said. "They were thinking it couldn't be safe out in the middle of the lake. It was a petrifying scene."

Man, if the Bears can't beat these guys on Sunday, its time to pack it in for the 2005 season.